Phyllis Dillerisms...Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.Phyllis DillerHousework can't ki...l you, but why take a chance?Phyllis DillerCleaning house while your kids are growing up is like shovelling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.Phyllis DillerThe reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.Phyllis DillerBest way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.Phyllis DillerA bachelor is. Finally, I radioed, “Sorry pilots. That wasn’t playing fair. Why don’t we see who has the biggest powerplant?”With the stealth turned off, including the engine, I let them have thirty seconds before I said, “Go!”I pulled the throttle all the way, and it looked like the cartoons where they were there and then gone. Still feeling a bit like an ass, I flew up, over, and then got behind them. Before they could even try to peel off to respond, I evened up with them and waved.“I have a daughter to go. Katie was from a good family. I would probably marry her when we got out of college. Tonight though, she was in Maine and I was here surrounded by drunk hotties. My name is Jack, and I am a 25 year old law student. I think I am a decent looking guy. Pretty tall, about 6’1” and I keep my body in good shape. I gotta boast my 6 pack and nice shoulders. I have brown wavy hair and baby blues that drive the girls crazy. Yeah, I am a trust fund kid.I bought drinks for chicks all night and soon I found. "BJ, it's on autopilot; if you touch any of the controls it goes to manual and you will be flying the plane," he said as he climbed out of his seat.Twenty minutes later Vance was back with two cups of coffee. "We left at seven Madrid time and it is an 8 hour flight which would put us on the ground at Morton Field at three tomorrow morning. But, because we are crossing 5 time zones we need to back up the clock up. We should be landing around ten pm eastern time by any luck," he said."Good, we.
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